Disappointment

Well, here it is, almost three weeks since my last post. Life isn't fair! But then again, you've probably already figured that out. Life was never intended to be fair. Anyone who thinks that it is, is either very naive or living in a fantasy world.

We have this expectation that life is going to be wondreful and that we will get everything that we want out of it. Who sold us that pack of lies? Satan! It's his way of getting us discouraged when things aren't going the way we want. He looks at us and says, "Wait! God's not being fair to you. He must not really care about you or be concerned about you. If He was, then you wouldn't be going through what you are. Life would be easy and smooth." And then we listen to it and we get mad at God and we turn our backs on Him and pout. (Yeah, I know that wasn't a grammitically correct sentence, but I'm not an English major...got my degree in Music)

When this happens, Satan wins and keeps us from following God. I know because I've been there the last day or so. I got disappointed yesterday when I received a letter from a church, politely telling me that they were going in a different direction in looking for a pastor. Now this isn't the first time that I've been removed from consideration, but this one hurt more than any other time. The reason is because it was the first time since I left full time ministry that I've tried to get back into a ministry position.

This "rejection" hurt because it brought out feelings of, "I guess God will never use me in ministry again. I blew it and now I'll never be allowed to do what I love the most." I had a little...okay, a huge...pity party for myself. God reminded me that I prayed for Him to show me His will. He did, but I didn't like it because it wasn't MY will. I put out the fleece and waited for God's response and when it came I got mad and thought how unfair it was.

God also reminded me that I am in ministry. I teach Sunday School every week, sing in the choir, and yes...as hard as this is to believe...I play the piano for the worship service. I also have the opportunity to fill in for the pastor and music minister when they are out.

So what's the point of this post? Well, I can sit here and be miserable and be mad at God for not giving me what I want...which probably wasn't where I needed to be anyway...or I can be thankful for the opportunities that God has given me. Yes, I very much want to be in full time vocational ministry, but God is using me in other ways and I need to be more aware of them and look to make the most of the opportunities.

I know this is a long post, but I hope you will take a minute and think about your own walk. Are you disappointed because you didn't get your way or are you thankful for how God is using you and what He's allowing you to be a part of?