Disappointment

Well, here it is, almost three weeks since my last post. Life isn't fair! But then again, you've probably already figured that out. Life was never intended to be fair. Anyone who thinks that it is, is either very naive or living in a fantasy world.

We have this expectation that life is going to be wondreful and that we will get everything that we want out of it. Who sold us that pack of lies? Satan! It's his way of getting us discouraged when things aren't going the way we want. He looks at us and says, "Wait! God's not being fair to you. He must not really care about you or be concerned about you. If He was, then you wouldn't be going through what you are. Life would be easy and smooth." And then we listen to it and we get mad at God and we turn our backs on Him and pout. (Yeah, I know that wasn't a grammitically correct sentence, but I'm not an English major...got my degree in Music)

When this happens, Satan wins and keeps us from following God. I know because I've been there the last day or so. I got disappointed yesterday when I received a letter from a church, politely telling me that they were going in a different direction in looking for a pastor. Now this isn't the first time that I've been removed from consideration, but this one hurt more than any other time. The reason is because it was the first time since I left full time ministry that I've tried to get back into a ministry position.

This "rejection" hurt because it brought out feelings of, "I guess God will never use me in ministry again. I blew it and now I'll never be allowed to do what I love the most." I had a little...okay, a huge...pity party for myself. God reminded me that I prayed for Him to show me His will. He did, but I didn't like it because it wasn't MY will. I put out the fleece and waited for God's response and when it came I got mad and thought how unfair it was.

God also reminded me that I am in ministry. I teach Sunday School every week, sing in the choir, and yes...as hard as this is to believe...I play the piano for the worship service. I also have the opportunity to fill in for the pastor and music minister when they are out.

So what's the point of this post? Well, I can sit here and be miserable and be mad at God for not giving me what I want...which probably wasn't where I needed to be anyway...or I can be thankful for the opportunities that God has given me. Yes, I very much want to be in full time vocational ministry, but God is using me in other ways and I need to be more aware of them and look to make the most of the opportunities.

I know this is a long post, but I hope you will take a minute and think about your own walk. Are you disappointed because you didn't get your way or are you thankful for how God is using you and what He's allowing you to be a part of?

Center of it All

This past weekend, I had the privilege to lead worship at FBC, Sealy. They are currently in an interim time but have a new pastor arriving in a couple of weeks. The interim has been with them now for two year....crazy, huh? Anyway, I spoke out of Philippians 1:12-30. As he spoke, he made a statement that I know to be true but had never put much thought into. In fact, as he spoke, I wondered how many times I miscommunicated the same point.

His statement was that God shouldn't be #1 in our lives, but rather should be the center of our lives. He stated that #1 often changes in our lives. I love college football and I got to thinking about it that way. How many times do we see teams rise to #1 in the rankings, only to slip out of that spot after a week or maybe two, depending on how well they play. The same thing happens in our lives: we go to a revival, a conference, or camp and get all excited about God and we say, "God, you have the #1 priority in my life." And then we come home and something happens and before we know it, God has slipped to #2, #3, or lower.

But, if we make God the center of our lives, then everything revovles around that relationship. Think about the North Star. Now I'm not an astronomy nut...just a nut, but if you look for certain constellations in the sky at night-provided you live where you can see the stars-you can find them easier if you locate the North Star and move from there. The same is true in our lives. When we place God in the center, it is so much easier to find our purpose and way.

I've started going through Henry Blackaby's study, Experiencing God, again. It's been several years since I did that study. It had a profound effect on me at the time. But Blackaby talks about God be the center of our lives. To know and do God's will, we have to not place Him #1, but place Him in the center.